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I write on the blog above....

Doctorate for SHILPA SHETTY !!

HA HA! Fu#$@#@ crap man! It's sad...I dunno my emotions right now so excuse me!

She gets a doctorate for "immense contribution to cultural diversity" by appearing on BIG BROTHER.. a crappy show where a bit of cleavage along with some tears gets the BIMBO a doctorate from LEEDS UNIVERSITY !!! For that reason, Mallika should be offered BHARAT RATNA for uniting all men across all classes for OGLING at her.

Can someone define achievement please!!

Now someone would point out I am jealous...yes u fu..moron I am! Coz this type of incident undermines our efforts and achievements...purely my perception...Now your BENCHMARK is Shilpa Shetty...Holy Cow that statement gives me the creeps....

Bombs in School!!

What a prank!
Std 8th guys blasts sutli bombs in a suburbian school and force 12000 students to evacuate....

Princi dearest says they need not be punished, it will spoil their careers !!! And I thought they would get encouraged if they are not punished...

Hey wait a second...I was punished 20 years back in SSC when I sang "Jab Hum Jawaan Hoge" instead of the regular prayer, in fact the whole class was caned by the Vice Princi , an Idi Amin
lookalike. Anyway, I liked the way whole class followed me, gave me a high than... :)
Damn it, I was also punished for offering a red rose to a "lady in red" in 11th, by being banned for 4 lectures....

Roses Vs Bombs...Schooling has come a long way man!

Hum honge Kamyaab [backward] ek din...

Man main hai vishwaas pura hai vishwaas hum honge kamyaab [peechde/backward] ek din....

Nehru appointed a minister to identify people who could be termed as ST. The minister identifies the Bhil-Meenas and not all the Meenas across the state, correctly. But some officer in Delhi feels the hyphen is a mistake and replaces with comma, and PRESTO!! all the Meenas are now ST along with all the Bhils...

The best part is this is a known fact as per the leading newspaper of the country and no one is bothered to correct it..

This can happen only in India...

Maya ki Jaal...

Mayawati has beaten Spiderman!! She has spun a incredible web over UP. Running for the lives are the likes of Amar Singh, Raja Bhaiyaa [This guy is damned], and the bureaucrats owing loyalty to Mulayam.

Be ready for one of the best soap operas ever in the history of Indian Politics....!!!

The Path to 9/11 - Review

Watched on weekend, this fantastic series....
================================
Plot Outline: A television mini-series on the events leading up to the US terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.

Review from IMDB....

As someone who finds most television incredibly boring, I have to say I was completely gripped by this mini-series, perhaps because it was so unlike what you normally get on the tube. I loved the gritty film-making style, and I thought the casting and performances were great. David L. Cunningham is not a well known name right now, but that should change after this mini-series. Too bad he'll probably go on to direct features, because we could use more guys like him on the small screen.In terms of all the political flak this series has attracted, I can't see what all the fuss is about. Yeah, the show throws a few barbs Clinton's way, but every show has some point of view. If the Democrats don't like it, they can always respond to the truth as they see it.Congrats to ABC on having the guts to show this in spite of all the threats and criticism they received.

VHP and goondaism..

VHP has again done it. By attacking civilians, praying in a church for a sunday mass, it has again proved that it's menace needs to be curbed by the Government.
It has to be banned like SIMI and prevent the secular fabric of this country from being attacked further.
This is also an attempt to provoke the Sonia led government into taking action, so that the VHP can highlight Sonia's "religious bias" and unworthiness of being called a Indian.
If VHP wants votes, they should have targeted those responsible for the Nithari and Khairlanji killings, atleast for once they would have been appreciated.
They are under the impression that they can again play the trumpet of Hinduism, but unfortunately such actions will never be accepted by the majority of Hindus in this country.

Guru by the Guru...

Saw guru yesterday at cinemax, andheri. Maniratnam has made a compromise at last to get himself a hit at the hindi box office. But I am not complaining.

I wouldn't be surprised if the movie does the same for dhirubhai ambani, that lage raho did for Gandhi.

Infact there's a dialogue that implies that after Nehru and Gandhi, there's Dhirubhai!!

Abhishek is in top notch form. Ash too. But the best performance comes from our very own Mithunda,he is amazing as Manik Dasgupta [read Ramnath Goenka], amazing enough for me to want to catch up the movie second time.

Rahman's music is awesome, specially the background track that chants the name Guru. But the Yammo song was unnecessary, but i guess Mani wanted it to be a real hindi film. The direction reveals that even genuises crave for acknowledgment and acceptance.

As an elderly dhirubhai [see? Even though the name is gurukanth desai..no one can escapethe similarities], Abhishek has surprisingly managed very well.

I am sure dhirubhai would have approved, as the movie is surefire hit.

A movie on Dhirubhai and loss?? No way.

Catch it now at your neigbouring theatre.

Movie Recommendations

Its been a long time since I could put pen to paper!

Went through the below blog at the amazing India Uncut and totally agree with Anurag Kashyap's views regarding the dearth of good critics in India.

http://indiauncut.blogspot.com/2006/12/anurag-kashyap-on-khalid-mohammad-and.html

I caught up with lot of movies and definitely recommend the following:
1. DOR [Old world charm!]
2. The Devil's Advocate [Al-Pacino - Great as always!, Keanu Reeves - Good but the accent he put on was irritating]
3. Road to Guantanamo [Documentary - Fantastic!]
4. To kill a mocking bird [Hollywood classic]
5 An American Haunting [Good Horror]

Will give later more names.....

The Hammer MAN !!

I just wonder how a psycho can easily loiter around mumbai with a hammer, that too in the afternoon. And why dont people question someone when they see strangers just wandering around their buildings? Are mumbaikars just pathetic and lazy towards security and is this the reason why mumbai is targeted always by antisocials, terrorists, extortionists etc...

I tend to ask any tom, dick and harry that enters my building and insist that the security guards enquire too, whether they take offense or not, and if any member of the building later takes offense in case they are guests, to hell with them...

Big Daddy...

Ms.Minal Ghorpade is a dagdi chawl resident! She refers to Arun Gawli as Uncle..
So what the heck...How does it matter to her colleagues? Why and What are they scared of?

Trust some to make a mountain out of a molehill...and the media overplays it too..

Munnabhai, Bapu...aur Circuit...1

After returning to India, I saw that the word gandhigiri has taken the country by storm. Yet, Gandhigiri does not work, media proclaims along with articles...

A short skit and many more to come....
=================================================================

Munna: Arre Bapu kidhar ho?

Bapu: Abe o bapu kisko bolta hai? Bhai bol Bhai...gandhibhai...

Munna: [surprised at the tone-murmurs to himself] Aaj bapu ka mood thik nahi...

Bapu: Kya bola re? Yeda ho gaya kya akela akela baat karta hai?

Munna: Nahi Bhai Nahi...kabhi kabhi apun bhi zara jor main sochta hai...to sabko awaaz aati hai...

Bapu: Kya namunaa hai yaar tu...

Munna: Bhai, yeh mumbaiya badi acchi bol lete ho...

Bapu: Tera paala jo pada hai - woh Raju ki wajah se...

Munna: Bapu - Sorry Sorry Bhai - Newspaper laya hu...

Bapu: Kya likha hai?

Munna: Do bhai log ka lafda raste pe aa gaya hai bapu - sorry gandhibhai..
Bapu: aur...

Munna: Bahut nukshan hua public ka - goverment ka...todphod main...Main ek kaam karta hu - dono bhai log ko milwane ka try karta hu...Gulab de ke...

Bapu: Ha Ha - Abe hatele - jab kisiki hat ti hai to teri sunege..? Aur yeh do bhai to ekdum hut ke hai samjha...koi nahi samjha sakta unko...ek baar soch liya to soch liya - Aur sun be mera naam galti se bhi lena nahi - unke ghar main mera sikka nahi chalta - tereko aur Phodege...Kya samja...Mera naam sunke to unke ghar ke bado ki bhi hut jaati hai...

Munna: par bhai mumbai main shanti to laani padegi na...

Bapu: Ek Kaamkar - Main Sawarkar ko hawala deta hu tereko help karne main aur mumbai main shanti laane main...Mera Mobile kidhar hai...
Chal ab kalti kha - weekend hai...Time to ENJOY...Samjha...

Munna: [ Wakes up - Sweating profusely ] ABE CIRCUIT - Jaldi aaaaa...

Circuit: Kya bhai - savere savere - Bapu mile kya....

Munna: Abe Bapu nahi - Gandhibhai bol saale - Aaj se pure desh ko nayi gandhigiri sikhani padegi - samjha...Bahut tension hai life main yaar....

Back to Business...

I am back after a month in Paris...and did not get time to blog!!

Than my laptop crashed....you know the works...

But will resume blogging now...

Mumbaikar's Response....

Got the following forward from a pal
====================================
By Meenal Dighe -

What is this spirit that everyone is talking about? The spirit of taking whatever is doled out, and going on with life? what kind of a life is this?

When people got news of the blasts, so many of the comments were "This had to happen one day." This is becoming a daily affair in India" "Mumbai is always a target" !!
It's as if Mumbaikars just expect all this to happen. There will be bomb blasts in Mumbai.....occasionally in trains, BEST buses or taxis.

The Immediate reaction is "Thank God I did not go by that train today" Thank God I am working late today" ".... my friend / relative / colleague travels by those trains" " Thank God I go by Central railway !" and so on ! Basically, just the whole concept of "Not ME!"

Then everyone flipped out their mobile phones and starting making calls to find out if their near and dear ones were safe. But found the landlines and mobile networks jammed !! Blaming and cursing the phone companies, they kept on dialing number after number. When all were traced, they tried to get home by different modes of transport. But most of them got caught up in traffic jams, and sat for hours in various vehicles blaming the authorities. Few knew that the jam was caused due to people who in their haste to get home safely, broke all traffic rules and drove their vehicles like cattle !!

It was just a few young men in few places who actually got out on the roads and helped the police to control and direct traffic. And a few middle class people who went out of their way to stand on the packed roads and give biscuits and water to the people walking long long distances to get home.

It was only the poor STD booth walas who let people call home for free, to give news that they were safe. It was only the poor people living in zhopadpattis next to the railway-lines who immediately ran to rescue the passengers of the affected trains. We all saw the dead and injured being carried away from the blast site in bedsheets. Where do you think these sheets came from? They came from the same zhopadpattis whose homes (encroachments) we are all desperate to see razed to the ground.
What did people like us do? We the educated, employed in top-notch companies, moneyed people with laptops, palms, bluetooth et all ? Those of us who were in other bogies of the affected trains or on the platform and were uninjured, quickly ran out of the station as soon as we understood the situation. We caught the first bus, rickshaw ,taxi and headed home. We used our cell phones to call our family that we are safe.

Those of us who were in office decided to stay put till the chaos settled down....even if it meant staying in office that night. We saw the news on every channel, and discussed with our colleagues about the uncertainty of life. Some blamed the Police, some the Government, some Pakistan and some became philosophical and blamed all of mankind and it's deteriorating quality. Everyone gave 'gyan' of some kind.

As it got late, we ordered food, or went to some nearby restaurant. We reached home late and hugged our parents, wife, kids and thanked God once more that we were not in those ill-fated trains. Sleep came, though little disturbed.
And the next morning we packed off our kids to school, picked up our laptops and left for office bright and early. The day went off in exchanging stories, some more complaining and blaming the authorities and immersing ourself in work.
Come weekend, and we will go see another movie, check out a new restaurant and waste money at another mall !

Some dutiful companies may ask their employees to stand and observe one-minute silence in respect for the dead. Most of us will stop watching the news as we can't bear to see those gory pictures again and again. One in thousand of us may have gone to donate blood.

By next week, all will be forgotten and 'life' will go on.

Yes life, as we call it, will go on. For us. Because we did not die in those trains, we did not lose anyone or any of our limbs.

We will carry on with our daily routines and weekend masti and consider the bomb blasts as just another problem that ails mumbai. Last week it was the rains that troubled us, then the Shiv Sena outrage and this week it is the blasts. Tomorrow it may be a plane crash (when we will blame the airport authority and municipality for not tackling encroachments), or a train accident, or a stampede at a music concert or a sports stadium. It's just a part of life now, we will say.

Yet how many of us will ask ourself, "what could I have done to help on that day?" What can I do, even today?" Will any of us sue any of the phone companies for blocking communication leading to immense stress and tension to our near and dear ones? Will any of us join a morcha against the Govt to protest against their incompeteny? Will any of us offer donation or medicines or jobs to those injured? Will any of us at least join a candle-lit prayer meeting in homage to the departed? How many of us will remember to look under our seats and generally be wary of suspicious bags when we travel in trains and buses?

How many of us will vote for the same Govt again?

For the Shiv Sena people, the statue of Mrs Thakarey was sacred. It's desecration was enough to make their blood boil. Burning buses and pelting shops with stones was wrong, but at least they were agitated by something.

When will the common man's blood boil? When we appeal to terrorists to not target common man, we use the word "innocents". Are we common people truly innocent? Are we not guily of quietly waiting indoors for things to calm down and then go home with bowed head, and go to office the next day as if nothing happened? Are we not guilty of electing this useless government and tolerating it’s incompetence for years? Are we not guilty of facing tragedy after tragedy with an attitude of “chalta-hai, it’s life!” What will it take for the common man to get up and stand for himself and demand his right from corrupt officials and money-hungry politicians? Last year the rains washed away just 100, and this year the blasts disintegrated just 200 !! How many will have to die, Mumbai, before you stand up and take notice?

Whether we deserve it or not, it is always the common man who suffers.
And what can we do about it? The next time there is any such incident, how many of us will ask ourself, “What can I do to help?” How many of us will be out on the roads, guiding traffic, giving water, rescuing people, donating blood, at least shedding tears !!

It’s time we shook off this “spirit of Mumbai” that is making us unfeeling robots, going to work everyday in inhuman conditions. It’s time we read the sad stories and really let our hearts bleed for those who were affected. And then it’s time we let our blood boil in anger against everyone responsible for this.
It’s time to take action now Mumbai ! Let that be our spirit !
Jai Hind ! Jai Maharashtra!

Mumbai Citizen's Voice...after the blasts.

Received the below from a pal =>
================================
What happened on Tuesday is a horrendous. And as usual Bombay, as it has always been, sprung up and was back in action the very next as if nothing great ever happened. If the explosion has managed to rip off the thick doors of the train's compartments, I can well imagine what the state of the passengers in that compartment could have been.

And to add to the already existing chaos, we have our mantris and babus flying into the city and telling us to what to do now, rather than zeroing on the culprits. They have mastered the art of passing the buck and playing the blame game.

This does nothing but creates a hurdle in rescue and relief operations.

The people of Bombay have taken such incidents for granted and have accepted these acts of terror as part of their lives.

I think it is high time that we the tax-payers and citizens of this country collectively boycott paying taxes.

If the finance minister can issue PAN cards and put in place a mechanism that can track and trace every financial transaction of the poor middle-class citizen and casting his tax net wider as time progresses thereby ensuring that more and more people are brought under his tax net every year, I am sure the government can as well issue PF cards and Social security cards to its citizens.

Life is short but moreover it is unpredictable.

My condolences to the families of the deceased.

May God grant their souls eternal rest.

Mumbai Train Blasts.....

Mumbai suffers yet another blow.

Serials blasts rock trains at peak hour.

Just god knows, how many casualties? That is if you also count the victim's families.
But NO! For the government the casualties would be the statistics who would be compensated. The underarmed [compared to the criminals], understaffed [not ONLY in terms of numbers but also in terms of number of committed, non-corrupt, and non-biased] police will be pressurised into investigating the same.

I think we should officially declare Mumbai as DEAD COURTESY politicians and their screwed ideologies.

Zidane - A Legend..Always...

Italy is a world champion. But what happened to Zinedine Zidane?
Some say he lost his nerve. A lady on a news channel had the nerve to call it stupidity. Ample proof of how the media plays a vital role in the making of a legend or in tearing to shreds the reputation of one of the most sincere and committed player of our times. For all the criticism, he must have been provoked and even if the opponent was not to blame - What the heck?
If a Maradona with "Hand of God", Drug abuses, dismissals can be considered a legend along with Pele, Than why not Zidane?
He definitely deserves the GOLDEN BALL award.
- Gaurang Bookseller

Quote of the Day...

Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment.
Own it.
- OPRAH WINFREY

HIV Terror - Urban Legend...

This is with respect to a earlier post of mine - HIV Terror, a forward that i had received from a pal.

I stumbled on to another link with respect to the same....seems to be a rumour and thats a Relief..!!.

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/weekly/aa100798.htm

Live in Space...advises Mr.Hawking

An Open Letter to Stephen Hawking
=================================

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/nmirror/mmpaper.aspsectid=16&articleid=
6132006221812816132006221728703

Hi Stephen,

Please come to mumbai, a novel city that guarantees you large number of craters.
To experience the walk on the moon, you simply need to drive through our city especially in three wheelers called Autos, we guarantee you that gravity will not have any effect on you, most of the journey you shall be suspended in space.

There is no water on moon, its almost the same in mumbai too, as different living organisms have made their presence felt in water, we are more dependent on cola/tea.

Armstrong left a footprint on moon, we have been given that opportunity too by the municipal corporation to leave our footprints across the city on wet mud,sand,debris lying around various BMC projects. It has been suggested that in case any one has the privilege to slip and die in the potholes, the government will bury the person there at their project's cost and the particular pothole shall be named after him.

By the way, i do not recall how the moon looks like since the time my neck has been affected with spondalytis by looking down for potholes and open manholes, day and night. If you happen to visit moon do get some snaps, i am curious as my kid told me 'Pa, they [mumbai and moon] look the same'.

Take Care,

Gaurang